Happy New Year, everyone!
It's officially 2012! Did you make it to midnight? I barely did.
Generally, I'm not one for New Years resolutions. I don't see a point to them and very seldomly stick to them if I do make any. The big one for most people is "lose weight," isn't it? I don't want to do that, but I would like to exercise more to stay in shape. I guess I should add "eating better" to that... Since I now own legit, good pots and pans and a toaster oven, I can cook.
But here is my list of things I'd like to accomplish in 2012:
+I'd like to learn more about as much as possible.
+Become a better person.
+Visit places I have never been (and actually take a vacation).
+Read more books.
+Try to do more public speaking events
+RELAX
Now I'd like to recap 2011 (I know, I'm going backwards here):
+Received my first Guide Dog.
+Met some really awesome people at Guide Dog school.
-Numerous eye surgeries and the complications that went with them.
-Work related issues due to numerous eye surgeries/complications.
+Bought a house.
+Boyfriend.
-Family health issues.
+Selected as the 2012 Arline Philips Achievement Award winner.
All in all, 2011 seemed to have evened itself out.
Here's to a new year and hoping the world doesn't end (haha)!!
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
AWarD
Since my last entry, well..two days after my last entry I received a letter from the Association for the Blind in Exeter. It's the Greater Wilkes-Barre chapter. On my way back to my house, my dad told me I received a letter, but didn't tell me what it was. I had no idea and immediately said "I don't know what it could be. I don't think I did anything wrong..." My mind immedately goes to negative situations.
My dad leaves and goes to his house to pick up my mom. They both come back with the letter and I open it. My mom reads it to me and I start crying. The contents of the letter stating that I was nominated and selected for the 2012 Arline Philips Achievement Award for Greater Wilkes-Barre. The reason for my crying is because I was in shock and certainly did not expect anything like that.
I remember sitting at one of the award ceremonies years prior "Wouldn't it be cool if I were to win that one year? I don't think that would happen though." Low and behold! This year was my year.
The award letter states "This award is presented to a blind or visually impaired person whose lifestyle reflects a level of independence that serves as an example for others."
I am truly honored by the selection and the following day I called the Association to accept the nomination and talk about what happens next. I don't have much to do aside from picture taking with the sponsers once they have been selected.
The awards ceremony will be 12 Sept. It's a while away, but I'm still excited!
My dad leaves and goes to his house to pick up my mom. They both come back with the letter and I open it. My mom reads it to me and I start crying. The contents of the letter stating that I was nominated and selected for the 2012 Arline Philips Achievement Award for Greater Wilkes-Barre. The reason for my crying is because I was in shock and certainly did not expect anything like that.
I remember sitting at one of the award ceremonies years prior "Wouldn't it be cool if I were to win that one year? I don't think that would happen though." Low and behold! This year was my year.
The award letter states "This award is presented to a blind or visually impaired person whose lifestyle reflects a level of independence that serves as an example for others."
I am truly honored by the selection and the following day I called the Association to accept the nomination and talk about what happens next. I don't have much to do aside from picture taking with the sponsers once they have been selected.
The awards ceremony will be 12 Sept. It's a while away, but I'm still excited!
Friday, December 9, 2011
FlattERY
Today was another eye doctor appointment. It went really well, and I'm really happy with the results. My eye pressures have been staying stable, which is great! However, I have to have another yag laser procedure to remove some more membrane from the capsule of the eye (lens of the eye). The procedure isn't painful and it's really quick. Immediately afterwards I see almost a rainbow effect and am a little dizzy, but other than that I'm good. The nurses help me back to the waiting room, where my dad and Teka are. Teka's usually insanely happy to see me.
This next part, though, is flattering. My doctor invited me to speak at a local Lion's Club meeting. Basically, he said that he'd like me to talk about my experiences before having a guide dog, the process of getting a dog, and my experience thus far with her.
I honestly wasn't expecting that. I accepted the offer and gave him my contact information. Once he gets more information, he will pass it on along to me. The presentation isn't until the end of January, so I have some time to prepare and figure out what I would like to say. I pretty much have a general idea, but there is going to be some fine tuning later on.
Looking back on previous public speaking events that I have done, I have noticed a change.
I'm not as shy as I used to be when presenting. I think it deals with the fact my eyes aren't as good as they used to be in high school and college. That's a plus. The downside to that is, I have to memorize my whole speech, but I don't foresee that being much of an issue. By nature, I am a very shy person, but certain situations and circumstances have broken that habit--at least a little bit.
I suppose that that's it for now.
This next part, though, is flattering. My doctor invited me to speak at a local Lion's Club meeting. Basically, he said that he'd like me to talk about my experiences before having a guide dog, the process of getting a dog, and my experience thus far with her.
I honestly wasn't expecting that. I accepted the offer and gave him my contact information. Once he gets more information, he will pass it on along to me. The presentation isn't until the end of January, so I have some time to prepare and figure out what I would like to say. I pretty much have a general idea, but there is going to be some fine tuning later on.
Looking back on previous public speaking events that I have done, I have noticed a change.
I'm not as shy as I used to be when presenting. I think it deals with the fact my eyes aren't as good as they used to be in high school and college. That's a plus. The downside to that is, I have to memorize my whole speech, but I don't foresee that being much of an issue. By nature, I am a very shy person, but certain situations and circumstances have broken that habit--at least a little bit.
I suppose that that's it for now.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
PIEceS
I have been wanting to write again. I used to write poetry a lot. None of it was any good and it was usually when I was a depressed teenager. However, the urge has struck me again. I've contemplated writing a book, but I'm not sure what it would be about...an autobiography? What have I done that's so spectacular? Nothing particular.
Monday, November 28, 2011
ToNGue tIEd
There's a lot that I want to say, but putting it into words is proving more difficult than originally anticipated.
So, I sit and stare at the blinking cursor on my computer screen, music and the hum of computer fans masking the silence of this house, while Teka lays peacefully at my feet.
Hmm...
There are some very significant things going on in my life, but at the same time I feel like there's nothing.
I took a taxi ride to Wal-mart. The ride was about 2.1 miles (roughly eight minutes) and cost $15. So, roundtrip would have cost me $30.. I cracked and called my parents for a ride home. I am proud of myself, though. At least I ventured out for a little while.
So, I sit and stare at the blinking cursor on my computer screen, music and the hum of computer fans masking the silence of this house, while Teka lays peacefully at my feet.
Hmm...
There are some very significant things going on in my life, but at the same time I feel like there's nothing.
I took a taxi ride to Wal-mart. The ride was about 2.1 miles (roughly eight minutes) and cost $15. So, roundtrip would have cost me $30.. I cracked and called my parents for a ride home. I am proud of myself, though. At least I ventured out for a little while.
Friday, October 7, 2011
ReflectION
A friend of mine posted a blog reflecting on the last few years of her life. It seemed to have sparked some reflection of my own, which may or may not end up being a mini autobiography of the last couple of years.
It was 2008, I had big plans to move to New York City to be in an apartment with two friends. I had just graduated college in May and began my search of what would probably be one of the most life-changing experiences of life--at least that's how I saw it at the time.
No luck on finding a job and then found out that one of the friends I'd be moving with bailed. So, my other friend and me continued our search. I still pursued job opportunities with the hopes of finding something and nothing..
August of that same year was a huge turning point in my life. I had been suffering from hemmorhages in my eyes throughout my final semester in college and it nearly cost me a part in a play (luckily it didn't, because I had a great time in that play). The retina in my right eye had detached.
Now as one would think it would be painful, it wasn't. Fright and uncertainty were the things I was more concerned about. I had a surgery to correct the detachment and had many, many follow-up visits; visits I am still going to at the present time.
I'll spare the gorey details of pre-, and post-surgery. The surgery was a success and I gained some vision back (maybe more than what was expected). I was happy how everything turned out in that regard.
Once I recovered from surgery I begame my job hunt again. Both in the area and NYC. Still, nothing. I decided to go for a CompTIA A+ certification. I took some classes on that and the exam.
A few weeks prior to the A+ exam, I had an interview for a job at my current employer. I had the interview and it seemed to go really well. Everyone was friendly and I got a small tour as well as see a few friends who worked with my dad in the Fire Department. I was told I would hear within a week if I was selected for the position. After only a few days, I received a phonecall asking if I want the position. Of course, I was overjoyed that I had finally landed a job, and without any thought accepted the offer.
I was to start work on my birthday, but with some paperwork mix up I wasn't able to start until the following pay period, which was fine by me, since I didn't really want to start a new job on my birthday.
By this point, I was saving money and still living at home with my parents. I was also going to Connecticut every other weekend. I do appreciate certain aspects for the reason I was going out there. I probably wouldn't have gotten up the courage to travel alone to unfamiliar places. So, thanks for that.
The first few months of work flew by and then I found out that the cataracts I had in my eyes had gotten worse and would require surgeries. I had both surgeries done (one in September of 2009 and the other in February 2010). Those surgeries were also successful.
I had moved out of my parents house and into a small apartment down the street. It was a basement apartment with hardly any sunlight and a noisy neighbor above me. I was happy--for the most part--doing my own thing and being more independant. However, things didn't feel quite right.
There was a development of glaucoma in my better eye... I tried multiple sets and variations of eyedrops to lower the pressure, but those didn't seem to help. Another surgery (or two) was required.
The first surgery required an artificial duct be put i n to relieve the amount of fluid in my eye due to the blockage of the real duct from abnormal blood vessels (this is from Retinopathy of Prematurity). This surgery seemed to help for about three weeks.. Until I began experiencing dibilitating pain in the eye. So, in I went for the second surgery to laser a part of the "faucet" (I don't know the technical term) and remove some of the blood vessels blocking the artifical duct.
That surgery seemed to have some more success. I was prescribed a few more eyedrops to help control the eye pressue and things seemed to be looking up again!
Prior to the glaucoma surgeries I had put an application in for a Guide Dog from Guide Dogs for the Blind. I did a phone interview and then a home interview a few months later. I was on pins and needles waiting to find out if I had been accepted to the program or not. And then the phonecall I had been waiting for! Acceptance!
I was told that I would be attending class in March of 2011. Very exciting, although I had also been trying to plan a tripp to Japan for that same exact time. I decided to go with the Guide Dog, since it would silly of me, because Japan wasn't going anywhere.
March comes and I leave Avoca in a snow storm for sunny San Franscico, California. I couldn't have been more wrong. It rained nearly the entire time I was there. I really did enjoy my time there, despite the rain. I met some really awesome people (students, staff, instructors) and went to some really awesome places and vintage shops.
I'm sure I've written about those experiences to some extent in previous entries (along with whatever else I wrote above) or have talked about it in person to friends/IMs/texts/email/social media. If I haven't and you're curious, just ask me... But anyway!
About a week or so after I came back with Teka, I found out the retina in my left eye detached. Same surgery as with the right, however I can only see hand movements and blobs out of that eye now. The best way to describe it is like looking through a toilet paper roll covered with wax paper. I'm still trying to figure out how to explain what I can see with my right eye. When I get that, I'll let you know. All I can see is the big E on the eye chart and even that's somewhat blurry.
Moving on...
I needed a bigger place once I got home with my beloved four-legged black Lab. So, house-hunting... House-hunting and no dice. No dice, no dice.. AND FINALLY! I bid on a nice house and was accepted!
Paperwork was all filed out and had the house turned over to me. I moved in mid-July. Teka and I really like it!
Then about a month after I moved in, more good things happened--unexpectedly.--which I am very much pleased with the way they are turning out.
I just realized I didn't even mention... I had an abrasion (scratch) on my cornea that took five months to heal to a point where I didn't have to wear a bandage contact and put a crazy regiment of eyedrops in. I still have a very, very small abrasion, but nothing near as bad as it was. Apparently, a 1mm abrasion can cripple a grown man. I am stronger than a grown man, since my abrasion was 1.9mm by 2.1mm after 4 months of healing. Haha.
There's plenty of other things I can think of as good and bad, but then I would just start rambling moreso than I already have.
I'll keep going just a little longer...
My cat, Whiskers, who I have had for over 15 years had to be put to sleep. His health was declining and he might have had a stroke. From what my dad told me, he was unable to use his back legs. As much as I didn't want him to go, it was for the best. Making him suffer would be cruel and I didn't want to see or make him suffer. He didn't deserve to suffer. He lived a full, healthy, and happy life as my pet, friend and family member. It still hurts just thinking about him. It was heartbreaking when I went over to my parents house, expecting to see him outside, running over to greet us as we got out of the car... To not see his food and water bowls on the floor in the kitchen... To not hear his paws clicking against the flooring...was...is still really hard. One day, we will meet again, in one life or another.
Despite all the bad that I've endured, there's definitely been a lot of good. I'm not quite sure if one outweighs the other and quite frankly, I don't want to know. As long as I keep up with a fighting spirit, I'll be okay.
It was 2008, I had big plans to move to New York City to be in an apartment with two friends. I had just graduated college in May and began my search of what would probably be one of the most life-changing experiences of life--at least that's how I saw it at the time.
No luck on finding a job and then found out that one of the friends I'd be moving with bailed. So, my other friend and me continued our search. I still pursued job opportunities with the hopes of finding something and nothing..
August of that same year was a huge turning point in my life. I had been suffering from hemmorhages in my eyes throughout my final semester in college and it nearly cost me a part in a play (luckily it didn't, because I had a great time in that play). The retina in my right eye had detached.
Now as one would think it would be painful, it wasn't. Fright and uncertainty were the things I was more concerned about. I had a surgery to correct the detachment and had many, many follow-up visits; visits I am still going to at the present time.
I'll spare the gorey details of pre-, and post-surgery. The surgery was a success and I gained some vision back (maybe more than what was expected). I was happy how everything turned out in that regard.
Once I recovered from surgery I begame my job hunt again. Both in the area and NYC. Still, nothing. I decided to go for a CompTIA A+ certification. I took some classes on that and the exam.
A few weeks prior to the A+ exam, I had an interview for a job at my current employer. I had the interview and it seemed to go really well. Everyone was friendly and I got a small tour as well as see a few friends who worked with my dad in the Fire Department. I was told I would hear within a week if I was selected for the position. After only a few days, I received a phonecall asking if I want the position. Of course, I was overjoyed that I had finally landed a job, and without any thought accepted the offer.
I was to start work on my birthday, but with some paperwork mix up I wasn't able to start until the following pay period, which was fine by me, since I didn't really want to start a new job on my birthday.
By this point, I was saving money and still living at home with my parents. I was also going to Connecticut every other weekend. I do appreciate certain aspects for the reason I was going out there. I probably wouldn't have gotten up the courage to travel alone to unfamiliar places. So, thanks for that.
The first few months of work flew by and then I found out that the cataracts I had in my eyes had gotten worse and would require surgeries. I had both surgeries done (one in September of 2009 and the other in February 2010). Those surgeries were also successful.
I had moved out of my parents house and into a small apartment down the street. It was a basement apartment with hardly any sunlight and a noisy neighbor above me. I was happy--for the most part--doing my own thing and being more independant. However, things didn't feel quite right.
There was a development of glaucoma in my better eye... I tried multiple sets and variations of eyedrops to lower the pressure, but those didn't seem to help. Another surgery (or two) was required.
The first surgery required an artificial duct be put i n to relieve the amount of fluid in my eye due to the blockage of the real duct from abnormal blood vessels (this is from Retinopathy of Prematurity). This surgery seemed to help for about three weeks.. Until I began experiencing dibilitating pain in the eye. So, in I went for the second surgery to laser a part of the "faucet" (I don't know the technical term) and remove some of the blood vessels blocking the artifical duct.
That surgery seemed to have some more success. I was prescribed a few more eyedrops to help control the eye pressue and things seemed to be looking up again!
Prior to the glaucoma surgeries I had put an application in for a Guide Dog from Guide Dogs for the Blind. I did a phone interview and then a home interview a few months later. I was on pins and needles waiting to find out if I had been accepted to the program or not. And then the phonecall I had been waiting for! Acceptance!
I was told that I would be attending class in March of 2011. Very exciting, although I had also been trying to plan a tripp to Japan for that same exact time. I decided to go with the Guide Dog, since it would silly of me, because Japan wasn't going anywhere.
March comes and I leave Avoca in a snow storm for sunny San Franscico, California. I couldn't have been more wrong. It rained nearly the entire time I was there. I really did enjoy my time there, despite the rain. I met some really awesome people (students, staff, instructors) and went to some really awesome places and vintage shops.
I'm sure I've written about those experiences to some extent in previous entries (along with whatever else I wrote above) or have talked about it in person to friends/IMs/texts/email/social media. If I haven't and you're curious, just ask me... But anyway!
About a week or so after I came back with Teka, I found out the retina in my left eye detached. Same surgery as with the right, however I can only see hand movements and blobs out of that eye now. The best way to describe it is like looking through a toilet paper roll covered with wax paper. I'm still trying to figure out how to explain what I can see with my right eye. When I get that, I'll let you know. All I can see is the big E on the eye chart and even that's somewhat blurry.
Moving on...
I needed a bigger place once I got home with my beloved four-legged black Lab. So, house-hunting... House-hunting and no dice. No dice, no dice.. AND FINALLY! I bid on a nice house and was accepted!
Paperwork was all filed out and had the house turned over to me. I moved in mid-July. Teka and I really like it!
Then about a month after I moved in, more good things happened--unexpectedly.--which I am very much pleased with the way they are turning out.
I just realized I didn't even mention... I had an abrasion (scratch) on my cornea that took five months to heal to a point where I didn't have to wear a bandage contact and put a crazy regiment of eyedrops in. I still have a very, very small abrasion, but nothing near as bad as it was. Apparently, a 1mm abrasion can cripple a grown man. I am stronger than a grown man, since my abrasion was 1.9mm by 2.1mm after 4 months of healing. Haha.
There's plenty of other things I can think of as good and bad, but then I would just start rambling moreso than I already have.
I'll keep going just a little longer...
My cat, Whiskers, who I have had for over 15 years had to be put to sleep. His health was declining and he might have had a stroke. From what my dad told me, he was unable to use his back legs. As much as I didn't want him to go, it was for the best. Making him suffer would be cruel and I didn't want to see or make him suffer. He didn't deserve to suffer. He lived a full, healthy, and happy life as my pet, friend and family member. It still hurts just thinking about him. It was heartbreaking when I went over to my parents house, expecting to see him outside, running over to greet us as we got out of the car... To not see his food and water bowls on the floor in the kitchen... To not hear his paws clicking against the flooring...was...is still really hard. One day, we will meet again, in one life or another.
Despite all the bad that I've endured, there's definitely been a lot of good. I'm not quite sure if one outweighs the other and quite frankly, I don't want to know. As long as I keep up with a fighting spirit, I'll be okay.
Saturday, August 13, 2011
From the Beginning
Usually I find myself thinking "This will be okay," but whatever that "this" is doesn't turn out as how I expected. A good majority of the time it ends in failure or letdowns for one or all parties involved.
In an ideal world, we would have everything we could ever want, hope, wish, and desire. However, this life certainly isn't ideal and yes, I've realized this a long, long time ago. I find myself in the mindset of "never" being able to get where I want to go, do what I want to do, travel where I want to travel and be what I want to be. In due time, though, I suppose I will get to the point that I have accomplished every thing on my rather short bucket list.
I am still rather young, anyway--seeing as how 25 really isn't THAT old. Some days, I beg to differ.
Health-wise, I feel like I am deteriorating. With the near constant anxiety attacks I have been suffering, the constant visits to the eye doctor is rather draining. Yet, I chug along and keep going.
Work-wise isn't much better. I have been questioned on why I have been taking so much leave--yet, I have been hired under the authority for a people with a disability, so it is not like they hired me not knowing I am visually impaired. I was given the numbers of how much leave I have taken as well. And in my defence, in the last two years, I have had roughly nine or so eye surgeries, well over 100 visits to the eye doctors for follow-up exams and the issues that have come about.
I am capable of doing my work properly and efficiently. I have proven that fact, however I do need to go to these appointments to keep what remaining vision I have intact. Otherwise, I would be needing more time off to rehabilitate, learn and cope.
I have been documenting everything and one of my four eye doctors has written letters to my organization stating the procedures done and requirements and limitations that may be encountered.
Graduate school is something I am still strongly considering,, but I have to consider my options of online schools compared to physical locations. I would love to do a program that I can travel to Japan and perhaps do some type of research project there. Although, I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. Also, I would need housing if I were to go to a physical location along with some type of job opportunity (work-study or part time job).
Honestly, I'm not even sure why I am thinking of these things... I want so much, yet here I am holding myself back because I am scared of being judged for whatever reason that may be. My eyesight plays a big role in it. I would absolutely love to go to Japan (and I know there are blind people who have), but I am terrified of getting lost. Then, there are all the requirements I will have to provide for AQS (Animal Quarintine Service), which I don't have an issue doing, but I'm afraid of access restrictions--not into the country, but into shops, restaurants, and the like. The worst that can be said is "no," and I know this, yet I'm still thinking too much.
My thoughts seem very scattered, even in this entry. I need to just sit back, take a few deep breaths, and relax.
In an ideal world, we would have everything we could ever want, hope, wish, and desire. However, this life certainly isn't ideal and yes, I've realized this a long, long time ago. I find myself in the mindset of "never" being able to get where I want to go, do what I want to do, travel where I want to travel and be what I want to be. In due time, though, I suppose I will get to the point that I have accomplished every thing on my rather short bucket list.
I am still rather young, anyway--seeing as how 25 really isn't THAT old. Some days, I beg to differ.
Health-wise, I feel like I am deteriorating. With the near constant anxiety attacks I have been suffering, the constant visits to the eye doctor is rather draining. Yet, I chug along and keep going.
Work-wise isn't much better. I have been questioned on why I have been taking so much leave--yet, I have been hired under the authority for a people with a disability, so it is not like they hired me not knowing I am visually impaired. I was given the numbers of how much leave I have taken as well. And in my defence, in the last two years, I have had roughly nine or so eye surgeries, well over 100 visits to the eye doctors for follow-up exams and the issues that have come about.
I am capable of doing my work properly and efficiently. I have proven that fact, however I do need to go to these appointments to keep what remaining vision I have intact. Otherwise, I would be needing more time off to rehabilitate, learn and cope.
I have been documenting everything and one of my four eye doctors has written letters to my organization stating the procedures done and requirements and limitations that may be encountered.
Graduate school is something I am still strongly considering,, but I have to consider my options of online schools compared to physical locations. I would love to do a program that I can travel to Japan and perhaps do some type of research project there. Although, I'm not entirely sure how to go about that. Also, I would need housing if I were to go to a physical location along with some type of job opportunity (work-study or part time job).
Honestly, I'm not even sure why I am thinking of these things... I want so much, yet here I am holding myself back because I am scared of being judged for whatever reason that may be. My eyesight plays a big role in it. I would absolutely love to go to Japan (and I know there are blind people who have), but I am terrified of getting lost. Then, there are all the requirements I will have to provide for AQS (Animal Quarintine Service), which I don't have an issue doing, but I'm afraid of access restrictions--not into the country, but into shops, restaurants, and the like. The worst that can be said is "no," and I know this, yet I'm still thinking too much.
My thoughts seem very scattered, even in this entry. I need to just sit back, take a few deep breaths, and relax.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)