Friday, October 7, 2011


A friend of mine posted a blog reflecting on the last few years of her life. It seemed to have sparked some reflection of my own, which may or may not end up being a mini autobiography of the last couple of years.

It was 2008, I had big plans to move to New York City to be in an apartment with two friends. I had just graduated college in May and began my search of what would probably be one of the most life-changing experiences of life--at least that's how I saw it at the time.

No luck on finding a job and then found out that one of the friends I'd be moving with bailed. So, my other friend and me continued our search. I still pursued job opportunities with the hopes of finding something and nothing..

August of that same year was a huge turning point in my life. I had been suffering from hemmorhages in my eyes throughout my final semester in college and it nearly cost me a part in a play (luckily it didn't, because I had a great time in that play). The retina in my right eye had detached.

Now as one would think it would be painful, it wasn't. Fright and uncertainty were the things I was more concerned about. I had a surgery to correct the detachment and had many, many follow-up visits; visits I am still going to at the present time.

I'll spare the gorey details of pre-, and post-surgery. The surgery was a success and I gained some vision back (maybe more than what was expected). I was happy how everything turned out in that regard.

Once I recovered from surgery I begame my job hunt again. Both in the area and NYC. Still, nothing. I decided to go for a CompTIA A+ certification. I took some classes on that and the exam.

A few weeks prior to the A+ exam, I had an interview for a job at my current employer. I had the interview and it seemed to go really well. Everyone was friendly and I got a small tour as well as see a few friends who worked with my dad in the Fire Department. I was told I would hear within a week if I was selected for the position. After only a few days, I received a phonecall asking if I want the position. Of course, I was overjoyed that I had finally landed a job, and without any thought accepted the offer.

I was to start work on my birthday, but with some paperwork mix up I wasn't able to start until the following pay period, which was fine by me, since I didn't really want to start a new job on my birthday.

By this point, I was saving money and still living at home with my parents. I was also going to Connecticut every other weekend. I do appreciate certain aspects for the reason I was going out there. I probably wouldn't have gotten up the courage to travel alone to unfamiliar places. So, thanks for that.

The first few months of work flew by and then I found out that the cataracts I had in my eyes had gotten worse and would require surgeries. I had both surgeries done (one in September of 2009 and the other in February 2010). Those surgeries were also successful.

I had moved out of my parents house and into a small apartment down the street. It was a basement apartment with hardly any sunlight and a noisy neighbor above me. I was happy--for the most part--doing my own thing and being more independant. However, things didn't feel quite right.

There was a development of glaucoma in my better eye... I tried multiple sets and variations of eyedrops to lower the pressure, but those didn't seem to help. Another surgery (or two) was required.

The first surgery required an artificial duct be put i n to relieve the amount of fluid in my eye due to the blockage of the real duct from abnormal blood vessels (this is from Retinopathy of Prematurity). This surgery seemed to help for about three weeks.. Until I began experiencing dibilitating pain in the eye. So, in I went for the second surgery to laser a part of the "faucet" (I don't know the technical term) and remove some of the blood vessels blocking the artifical duct.

That surgery seemed to have some more success. I was prescribed a few more eyedrops to help control the eye pressue and things seemed to be looking up again!

Prior to the glaucoma surgeries I had put an application in for a Guide Dog from Guide Dogs for the Blind. I did a phone interview and then a home interview a few months later. I was on pins and needles waiting to find out if I had been accepted to the program or not. And then the phonecall I had been waiting for! Acceptance!

I was told that I would be attending class in March of 2011. Very exciting, although I had also been trying to plan a tripp to Japan for that same exact time. I decided to go with the Guide Dog, since it would silly of me, because Japan wasn't going anywhere.

March comes and I leave Avoca in a snow storm for sunny San Franscico, California. I couldn't have been more wrong. It rained nearly the entire time I was there. I really did enjoy my time there, despite the rain. I met some really awesome people (students, staff, instructors) and went to some really awesome places and vintage shops.

I'm sure I've written about those experiences to some extent in previous entries (along with whatever else I wrote above) or have talked about it in person to friends/IMs/texts/email/social media. If I haven't and you're curious, just ask me... But anyway!

About a week or so after I came back with Teka, I found out the retina in my left eye detached. Same surgery as with the right, however I can only see hand movements and blobs out of that eye now. The best way to describe it is like looking through a toilet paper roll covered with wax paper. I'm still trying to figure out how to explain what I can see with my right eye. When I get that, I'll let you know. All I can see is the big E on the eye chart and even that's somewhat blurry.

Moving on...

I needed a bigger place once I got home with my beloved four-legged black Lab. So, house-hunting... House-hunting and no dice. No dice, no dice.. AND FINALLY! I bid on a nice house and was accepted!

Paperwork was all filed out and had the house turned over to me. I moved in mid-July. Teka and I really like it!

Then about a month after I moved in, more good things happened--unexpectedly.--which I am very much pleased with the way they are turning out.

I just realized I didn't even mention... I had an abrasion (scratch) on my cornea that took five months to heal to a point where I didn't have to wear a bandage contact and put a crazy regiment of eyedrops in. I still have a very, very small abrasion, but nothing near as bad as it was. Apparently, a 1mm abrasion can cripple a grown man. I am stronger than a grown man, since my abrasion was 1.9mm by 2.1mm after 4 months of healing. Haha.

There's plenty of other things I can think of as good and bad, but then I would just start rambling moreso than I already have.

I'll keep going just a little longer...

My cat, Whiskers, who I have had for over 15 years had to be put to sleep. His health was declining and he might have had a stroke. From what my dad told me, he was unable to use his back legs. As much as I didn't want him to go, it was for the best. Making him suffer would be cruel and I didn't want to see or make him suffer. He didn't deserve to suffer. He lived a full, healthy, and happy life as my pet, friend and family member. It still hurts just thinking about him. It was heartbreaking when I went over to my parents house, expecting to see him outside, running over to greet us as we got out of the car... To not see his food and water bowls on the floor in the kitchen... To not hear his paws clicking against the still really hard. One day, we will meet again, in one life or another.

Despite all the bad that I've endured, there's definitely been a lot of good. I'm not quite sure if one outweighs the other and quite frankly, I don't want to know. As long as I keep up with a fighting spirit, I'll be okay.