Friday, August 2, 2013

tiRED

I am incredibly tired of going to the doctors. I have gone to three appointments this week, and have two appointments each week for the next three+.

I had my first gynecological oncologist appointment yesterday. The doctor is extremely nice and genuinely seemed interested in the stories I was telling him. He explained to me about the tumor I have/had. Basically, it was a malignant tumor, very close to boardering legit cancer. Next week I have a CT scan schedule to scan my whole abdominal region to get a better look as to what is going on, then ultrasounds and more doctors visits after that.

I suppose it's just another thing to add to my list. I don't think I can have children, or I shouldn't. I can't. I don't want to put them through this. I'm at a much higher risk of getting colon cancer and breast cancer since they run in my family, as well as lung cancer. and a few other cancers...

Also, yesterday I found out I have a lung disorder too. I don't remember the name of it, but it's really frustrating. I have a thyroid disorder, mental health disorders, heart murmur, cyst on spleen, gallstones, blind, ovarian stuff, and now lung issues.

My body is a wreck and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I don't really know what to do or how to handle all of this. I feel extremely alone and beside myself.