Thursday, March 31, 2011

Destined.

If you ever sit down and wonder "What would this be like if __________," then it's probably a good assumption that it's better left unknown. I do often wonder what it's like to be able to see, but I know I certainly wouldn't be the same person I am today. Perhaps I would have been more out-going, more courageous, more ambitious, less shy, less depressed, less scared. However, I have found a voice -- a small one, but a voice none the less.

I have conquered some of my fears and I have overcome difficult challenges, adversity, and pain with plenty of blood, sweat, and tears to go along with it. I don't and can't regret all that I've done.

But the best thing to walk it's way into my life is on four legs and after only a few short weeks, she has stolen my heart.

Teka has opened my eyes to so many different and new things in such a short time. The good, the bad, the annoying, the ignorant, but most of all -- the most important thing -- the beauty. Beauty of companionship, loyalty, and friendship -- as corny and cheesy, or cliche that may sound.  I already feel like we make an amazing team and I've never felt better. I've never felt so liberated and free. I don't have to try so hard to figure out what's in front of me or where that step or curb is, etc..

However, there's a tinge of loneliness still. Yes, she fills a giant hole, but there's still something missing. I know that there's no need to rush to find what I'm looking for, though. I'm young and have quite a while to find exactly what I need. And even though I feel hopeless and helpless at times, I get back up and continue forward. I've already started to push the boundaries of my comfort zone and I was triumphant with that push. I've flown cross-country and lived in an unfamiliar place (albeit for three weeks). I felt comfortable there.

I've connected with new people who have made a great impact. It's something I won't forget.

There's a novelty that is starting to wear off though. The happiness and joy I felt the last three weeks is starting to wear off. I'm not entirely sure what it's from. It could be just the general mood of NEPA and/or weather or work or lack of sleep..

Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll figure it out and find the answer to what is looming over my head. 

Monday, March 28, 2011

Welcome to Oblivion

It seems I'm following a trend -- although I should have started this earlier than I have. It's better late than never, I suppose.

Should I go into introductions? I'm not even sure, since everywhere I will be posting this blogs link will already know who I am -- but I suppose for the Internet's sake, I will go into a short intro.

I'm Caitlin, I'm a visually impaired guide dog user with a BS in Information Technology. I have many interests and hobbies, for example -- music. Music is and will always be important to me. I, for the most part, am rather quiet, but I can be really chatty and sociable when the situation calls for it. I prefer to sit back and listen rather than be the centre of attention. This is goes against my zodiac sign of Aries -- a born leader, who takes control and is spontaneous. Although, don't count me out of that, I do "man up" when necessary and am a tad spontaneous.

I know who I am and what I want in life, even though I am still trying to find my way. Teka is helping with that! She is my 2 year old black lab guide dog. She is absolutely precious and the love of my life along with my cat.

If you're curious about the URL "artbreaker-circus," well I mashed two songs together because I lacked inspiration.