Thursday, March 31, 2011


If you ever sit down and wonder "What would this be like if __________," then it's probably a good assumption that it's better left unknown. I do often wonder what it's like to be able to see, but I know I certainly wouldn't be the same person I am today. Perhaps I would have been more out-going, more courageous, more ambitious, less shy, less depressed, less scared. However, I have found a voice -- a small one, but a voice none the less.

I have conquered some of my fears and I have overcome difficult challenges, adversity, and pain with plenty of blood, sweat, and tears to go along with it. I don't and can't regret all that I've done.

But the best thing to walk it's way into my life is on four legs and after only a few short weeks, she has stolen my heart.

Teka has opened my eyes to so many different and new things in such a short time. The good, the bad, the annoying, the ignorant, but most of all -- the most important thing -- the beauty. Beauty of companionship, loyalty, and friendship -- as corny and cheesy, or cliche that may sound.  I already feel like we make an amazing team and I've never felt better. I've never felt so liberated and free. I don't have to try so hard to figure out what's in front of me or where that step or curb is, etc..

However, there's a tinge of loneliness still. Yes, she fills a giant hole, but there's still something missing. I know that there's no need to rush to find what I'm looking for, though. I'm young and have quite a while to find exactly what I need. And even though I feel hopeless and helpless at times, I get back up and continue forward. I've already started to push the boundaries of my comfort zone and I was triumphant with that push. I've flown cross-country and lived in an unfamiliar place (albeit for three weeks). I felt comfortable there.

I've connected with new people who have made a great impact. It's something I won't forget.

There's a novelty that is starting to wear off though. The happiness and joy I felt the last three weeks is starting to wear off. I'm not entirely sure what it's from. It could be just the general mood of NEPA and/or weather or work or lack of sleep..

Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll figure it out and find the answer to what is looming over my head. 

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