Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Optimistic Pessimist

By nature, I'm a pessimist. I don't really look at the possibility of good outcomes. In fact, I automatically go to the worst possible outcome. However, perhaps the best possible outcome in the worst situations.

I have always been like this, for as long as I can remember, and it's not something I am proud of. I've heard "You are so strong." Except, I am only when it is absolutely necessary. I am the shoulder for friends and family to cry on. I am that pillar for everyone who needs me...except, when I feel that I need a crutch...there is nothing. I know that it's not true, but I have found myself going to the same few people to pull myself back up out of the hole that I have found myself in. And those that I would like to help give the same responses "Do it yourself." But how can you pull youself up if you're on unsteady ground?

I wish I knew the answer. I would love to be able to do that. Although, I seem to pull myself up and dust myself off regardless.. It's just getting harder.

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